Layers of shadow,
lilac to deepest grey;
choosing realities
in contrasting hues
to colour the weave
and strengthen the web . . .
I am . . .
a thousand things!
Happy, sad, cruel, kind, tender, hard,
weak, strong, loving, malevolent,
scheming, accepting, selfish, caring –
all these and more
are part of the contradiction
that is I!
Among my shadows
lurk ‘truth’ and ‘honesty’ –
at best a desire for clarity,
at worst an obsessional dream.
Each man is his own truth
and his own lie. . .
I am . . .
– or am I?
Where is my truth
amongst my shifting perceptions of I?
In laying claim to honesty
perhaps I lie the deepest lie;
In aspiring to ‘goodness’
I am not I!
In the confusion of colours
and seeping shadows,
still I hold my realities to the light
and judge them wanting!
Until I learn to listen
to my silence without judgement
and do as I must,
my truth is illusion.
(1990)