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Brokenness and Compassion

Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue. (EUGENE O’NEILL, The Great God Brown)

 

When someone quoted this to me during a phone conversation, it resonated.  On reflection, my own perception is that it is that very brokenness that graces us with humanity.

It is our brokenness that both requires and makes possible compassion, one of the most beautiful aspects of the human soul.

Only in acknowledging and accepting our own brokenness, whilst always engaging in that process of ‘mending’, can we develop compassion for ourselves.

Only in finding compassion towards ourselves can we truly stop blaming and become fully compassionate towards others.

To engage in that process of ‘mending’, I think there needs to be at the very least some awareness of and sense of connection to a life force, a cohesive energy within the universe, ‘God’.

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The joys of Spring . . .

It struck me today just how many Spring flowers bloom golden, as if welcoming back the sun!

And when it arrives, here the sun always seems so strong that, even with the freshness of departing winter, as soon as it comes out it feels almost as if we have skipped a season into summer, despite bare trees and grass not yet greened again. We bask in the sense of wellbeing that it brings.

Exploring the Evergreen Brickworks, we check out the  fabulous farmers’ market and so much more, a re-purposing of this wonderful industrial site as a source of inspiration for community, creativity and sustainability.

Wandering through the wetlands, I recognized the call of the returning Red-winged Blackbird long before I saw any, affirming that we no longer experience this world totally as newcomers. And it was the crackle of dry grass and leaves that alerted me to a tangle of Garter Snakes.

Truly a morning touched by the fine dust of joy!

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Compassion and non-attachment (2)

Compassion implies ‘being with’ someone else in their experience of pain or misfortune, of standing alongside them in suffering. It seems to me it is a quality of being rather than of doing.

I question whether charitable giving can really be classed as compassion. I don’t wish to detract from the response to give alms in the context of natural or human disaster. But I am not sure that this is a situation where we truly ‘suffer with’ those affected. More we respond to the tragedy in a general way.

I rather like the following:

Compassion therefore is a quality that brings people together. It is in effect “divine respect”. There is no greater emotion than to feel and absorb the pain of someone else to help ease their burden  . . . compassion is helping other humans in the present moment . . . (UCADIA article on compassion)

However, there is something missing for me here. Surely the truest tests of compassion come when faced with people or situations that run contrary to one’s own values or when faced with behaviours that may be difficult of even dangerous? Again, the generalised response to victims of disaster or war is very different from the personal ability to stand beside an addict in their pain, with the hope but no expectation that they will find a better way forward. That presence without expectation, accepting someone as they are, is a true gift.

Interestingly, the UCADIA article places compassion very firmly in the present moment, alongside respect, honesty, consistency, enthusiasm and cheerfulness, describing these as the six key present moment emotions. The point is well-made that most negative emotions are rooted in the past or future.

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Compassion and non-attachment

Compassion – an interesting word; its structure seems to imply ‘with passion’.

It seems to me that the truest compassion cares deeply for another being, yet without being wedded to or judging that being’s actions or their outcomes.

Yet again, there is a sense that depth and passion are intensified and strengthened by the capacity for non-attachment. And the distinction between non-attachment and detachment becomes even clearer.

As a footnote, perhaps our children are our greatest challenge in aspiring to non-attachment and thus our teachers at a profound level. It seems particularly difficult not to be attached to outcomes in the context of those we love – I guess this is the point of connection between non-attachment and unconditional love.

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Passion and non-attachment

Passion and non-attachment are often seen as mutually exclusive.

I think this is a false assumption; indeed, without passion, we come back to ‘detachment’ rather than non-attachment.

Passion is often viewed as fire. But could it be that this is only the youthful manifestation of passion, that passion also also resides in the still waters of a deep pool?

Mindfulness, being fully present in the moment seem to be fundamental to both passion and joy. Yet these are also an essential part of non-attachment. I aspire to living this moment utterly and with integrity, yet to be unattached to the outcome. And only by being unattached to the outcome can I inhabit this moment, for otherwise there is always at least some part of me projecting into the future and the ‘what ifs’.